Every year, during the week between Christmas and New Year’s, I spend a lot of time thinking. I pull away from people I know and love and just spend the week in prayerful contemplation of what has been and what could be.
Two years ago, during this very week, I was broken.
and feeling very alone.
I was in a job that felt more like an abusive relationship than a working partnership. I was living by myself, most of my friends had started to move away, and nothing about my life felt normal. It was like I was living in someone else’s reality and calling it my own.
I would regularly have this dream…
I would be standing face-to-face with someone and having a conversation.
They would take a turn talking and when I would start to speak they would talk over me or act like I had not said anything at all.
I would try to interrupt them, but they would just keep talking.
Looking right at me… right in my eyes… and not seeing me at all.
I would jump around.
Wave my arms above my head.
Scream as loud as I could…
And still, I would not be seen.
I was invisible.
I was lost while living in a familiar world.
For nearly two years I would go from my waking life, to my sleeping world, feeling the same way… desperate for anyone to see me.
But, then it happened…
2016, what some are calling the “worst year ever”, was my knight in shining armor.
My ray of hope.
My new beginning.
2016 brought people into my life I never knew I needed, and that I don’t know how I existed without.
2016 shaped my future and forced me to build new dreams and pursue them with everything I had.
2016 created in me a hope for something greater and a new gratitude for the things I now hold within my hands.
So, as I bid farewell to the year that changed my world…
I say hello to the newness that is 2017.
For the first time, in many years, I can look with hopeful eyes into the year ahead and know that I am not fighting alone, I am stronger than I have ever been and the hope I felt that I had lost forever is burning brighter than ever before.
So, cheers to 2016… your impact was great…
Here’s to 2017… may it hold more than you can contain!